I've seen the Light!
by Dobby-is-free
Summary: What happens when Emmett decides to become a nun? What would the Cullens think and what's this about Jasper being a male dancer?


I've Seen the Light

Jasper's POV

It was an uncommonly sunny day in Forks so we were all confined to the house. I tried to have some fun with Alice but she and Rosalie decided it would be a good time to sort out their clothes. They asked if I wanted to help. So I got out of there as fast as I could. I wanted to see if Edward and Bella wanted to hang out but since Nessie and Jacob had gone somewhere, they decided to have some 'alone' time. So I went to see if Emmett was around. Nothing could've prepared me for what I was about to see.

Sitting on the couch playing with the Xbox was not Emmett but Esme and Carlisle.

"What...?" I stammered. Esme looked up.

"Oh! Hi Jasper! are you OK?"

"Yes, just a bit bored."

"Do you want to take over from me? Carlisle is kicking my butt."

I looked at Esme for a moment to process what I just heard, then I smiled and took the control from her.

"Well that's about to change!" Esme sat down and started watching me to try and defeat Carlisle for title of Master of the Universe. We had been playing for a while and I was immersed in it, and winning I might add, when Rosalie came into the room with Alice.

"Has anyone seen Emmett?" She asked.

"No. Come to think of it, I haven't seen him since yesterday." Carlisle replied, his forehead creasing into a concerned frown.

"That's not like him at all. He's not answering his phone either." I could feel worry coming from Rosalie and knowing her, she was bound to blow this out of proportion. I sent waves of calm in her direction to make sure that she didn't start panicking.

Edward and Bella walked in holding hands, looking all starry-eyed at each other and sat down on one of the couches. Looks of fake innocence plastered on their faces.

Alice suddenly spoke up, "there's no need to worry, Emmett will be walking through those doors in 3-2-1..."

"Family I'm home!" Speak of the devil and he shall appear. Everyone turned around and started laughing. Emmett was fully dressed in a nun's habit. He seemed unconcerned as he stood there with a grin plastered on his face. Carlisle was first to gain his composure.

"Emmett, why are you wearing that?" Carlisle asked.

"Like I said, I've seen the light and I've became a nun" Emmett twirled around showing off his new outfit.

"Oh no you're not!" I didn't need to see Rosalie's face to know that there was fury plastered all over it and that the wave of anger coming from behind me was coming from her.

"Yes, I am Rose. I'm going back tomorrow to take my vows."

"But... you... you're a man!" Bella managed to say in between giggles.

"So? They were all happy to accept me." I could feel pride radiating off him.

Then it was Esme's turn to ask a question. "Why on earth do you want to become a nun?"

"Well I was walking home yesterday after hunting and I saw these women wearing these kind of thing. " He pointed to the clothes he was wearing. "I thought they looked funny, so I walked over and asked who they were. They said they were nuns spreading the word of God. We got talking and I decided that this was the life for me."

"You do realise that they pray like 18 hours a day." I said trying to imagine Emmett sitting still long enough to pray.

"I know and I have all night to play my XBOX and stuff while they sleep. And I get to walk around all day with no underwear on under these." He looked at Rosalie when he said this and winked.

"I'm pretty sure they wear undergarments Em." I said, trying to keep from laughing.

"Why are you trying to stop me from doing this Jazz? Have I ever stopped you from following your dreams? Didn't I help you when you wanted to become a male dancer?" I sent him the biggest wave of guilt that I could.

"Jazz! Why didn't you tell me you wanted to become a dancer?" Alice asked as she skipped to my side. But I couldn't sense any laughter coming from her. Just curiosity.

"Jasper, gives us a show!" I turned to see Edward bent double laughing his head off. At that moment I wished his head would come off.

"Thanks Em."

"Anytime buddy!" Everyone was looking at me expectedly.

"It was a few years ago." I began to explain.

"Everyone was gone hunting but Em and I, so I thought it might be fun to be a male dancer for a night" I finished in a mumble but because they all have superhuman hearing they still heard and it led to another round of laughter.

"Man you should've seen him! Swinging around that pole like he was born for it!" Emmett said

"Just did," Edward laughed.

"So is that where those leather pants came from?" Alice asked

'_Think Jasper!'_ I thought to myself. '_You need to get the subject back to Emmett. I got it!_'

"Em?" I began. "You do know that they take a vow of poverty, which means no more truck" Everyone turned to watch Emmett's reaction.

"That's okay I could use a break to appreciate what I have" Emmett slowly answered after contemplating for a while. That didn't work, so I moved onto something else.

"Okay, but they also take a vow of chastity. So no more Rosalie!" I said with raised eyebrows.

"What? No more Rosalie!?!" He shouted, visibly very alarmed.

"Yup!" I replied with a grin. At that he ripped off his habit. Everyone in the room, except Emmet himself and Rosalie threw their hands in front of their eyes. Emmet obviously really did think that you had to be naked under a habit.

There was a chorus of: "Emmett! Put some clothes on!"

But he ignored us and picked up Rosalie up, King-kong style and ran up the stairs.


End file.
